lionsleeps | Suisui IC Inbox

[ she hesitates for a long moment, clearly weighing how honest she should be, and whether she should tell someone with eyes like that.

but he's already gotten a little bit of the story, so finally: ]

Kind of literally, actually? Most of my contracts get powered through me.

A contract with a spirit does tend to be a somewhat... symbiotic relationship...

[Though it sounds like her world's contracts are VERY DIFFERENT from what he's used to.]

If you've taken on so many it's draining you to that extent, then isn't it you who's going to make your doctor cry?

Edited 2023-10-01 04:47 (UTC)

[ there is, for just a second, an utterly gutted expression that crosses Ritsuka's face-- ]

[ --and then she huffs, not quite a laugh, her expression shifting to a little smile ]

There's not really a choice, unfortunately. Even if Doctor Roman were around to scold me, we both know there isn't anything that can be done about it.

[Ah, it seems he's hit a soft spot. It's relatable -- that feeling of loss, and inevitability.]

I see... you've lost a lot, haven't you?

[ she considers for a moment, then says, like an offer: ]

Generals and soldiers aren't the only people who get drawn into wars.

[He pauses a moment, thinking of how to respond. Then, quietly, with a melancholy look off at nothing in particular, he speaks.]

...No, they aren't. There's no such thing as a nice clean battle, nor a tragedy that leaves no scars.

Yeah.

[ she's still quiet, but now solemn instead of smiling. ]

...I wasn't supposed to be part of any of it. But when I said there wasn't any choice, I meant it.

You mentioned your world was destroyed, and you were left as the only one to fix it, if I remember correctly?

Yeah.

There were forty-eight total candidates, at one point.

[ and now there's just her. ]

[Sounds like a bad time. He doesn't envy her that burden, for sure. He sighs, resting his face on his hand, and forces a smile.]

That's a lot to carry on one person's shoulders. If I could give you more than my best wishes, I would.

I wouldn't ask for more than that. This is my responsibility to deal with.

Yours, and all those with whom you've contracted?

I've never forced anyone into it. At home, it's just--me asking for help. I ask, and they answer.

[ ... ]

Dan Heng decided he was coming with me before it happened. Even after I tried to warn him off.

I didn't mean to accuse you of forcing anyone. I was merely pointing out that you needn't speak as if you're meant to carry that weight alone.

I mean... I do, and I don't.

[ she makes a few vague gestures with both hands, aimless, not really indicating much of anything. she is aware that this next phrase might be giving away something dangerous to a man she isn't sure is actually friendly or not, but she doesn't want to hide the fact, either. ]

The thing is, they're the powerful ones. Not me. ...But if anything happens to me, they all disappear. If I die, it all falls apart.

[ ... ]

"My will forms your body, and your sword forms my destiny." That's part of it.

You won't succeed without them, and they can't go on without you.

[He shows absolutely no sign of whether or not he's taken her information as something to use later. His placidity is hard to read, and he could certainly be dangerous, but at least for the moment he's being nothing but gentle.]

You are all, in the end, one unit sharing one goal. To that end, your power may lie in the bravery and kindness I've already seen in you.

I'm just doing my best.

[ that's all it boils down to. she's just one small person, more alone here than at home, who is just trying as hard as she can. ]

I can at least say that if I fail, it won't be because I didn't give it everything I have. But if I fail, I'll send him home first.

I don't know that he'd willingly go.

[He can't help but laugh, with an obvious fondness.]

Nevertheless, I do appreciate the reassurance. I have no right or reason to tell him what to do, but I'll still be happier if he's reasonably safe.

I won't force him to do anything.

But I will prioritize the safety of anyone who isn't native to my world. It's not fair to ask them to go down with it. I can promise you that.

Thank you. For all the awkwardness between us...

[He trails off, unsure how to finish that sentence in a way that's both true and safe to say.]

...Mm. I just hope he'll continue walking the path he chose for himself.

That's what I'd want for everyone.

[ she's gentle about it, because with her initial indignation spent--she might be stupid when it comes to most of what the hotel suggests for its guests, but she's good at reading between the lines. maybe she doesn't know all the details yet, but unfortunately for Jing Yuan, she's going to keep trying. ]

...I told him that he should talk to you. Even if it's awkward. I hope you guys can resolve some of that.

We can try.

[He's not opposed to being close again, after all. It's just the baggage.]

And I appreciate your efforts. However... a good deal of what lies between us could only truly be resolved by someone who no longer exists. As that resolution can never come, I don't know if that awkwardness will ever pass.

Never say never.

[ is any character from any canon ever okay without baggage, sources say probably not, ]

I'm not even talking about this place. Weird things happen in dreams all the time, right? But I've definitely seen miracles happen before I came here.

Miracles, hmm? Perhaps you're right. I may be an old man too used to stagnancy.

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