lionsleeps | Suisui IC Inbox

It's boring and monotonous.

[He's KINDA DEPRESSED honestly.]

But it keeps my people safe, and myself sane.

[ yeah she's getting the sense of that ]

...but is anyone happy?

They are. The Xianzhou Luofu is a wonderful place, with many, many people living happy lives according to their own principles.

[Because he's doing all the micromanaging and risk-prevention.]

But the Xianzhou are a people at war, so that peace and prosperity is fragile. As Arbiter-General, it's my duty to see that as many of them grow old and content as possible.

But what about you?

[ gently. so, so gently, her hands still holding his. ]

I find happiness in the little things.

[Which is true enough, but his smile is that of someone who's long since been resigned to an inevitable fate. It's been a very long time since he's had the luxury of considering what kind of life he'd actually want to live.

But he's feeling a little vulnerable, so he takes his hands back, resting them on the bed at his sides.]

Little birds and afternoon naps, a cat's paw pads and the warmth of the artificial sun, teasing my successor and watching my student grow... there are many unsurprising things that still hold great value.

...That's contentment, at least.

[ they're very different things, to her. ]

I'm glad you've got that.

As am I. For me, that's enough. I've seen what happens when powerful people reach for too much, and I have too much to lose.

...

[ she hesitates over her words, because the truth is, she is still upset about what she knows about Dan Heng's past, and she doesn't like his complacency in that, but...

well. she knows herself well enough to know that she can't help but feel both sympathy and empathy for someone in a position like his. ]

I don't think reaching for happiness is too much, General.

I already lost everything once, Miss Ritsuka. If I were to lose something that precious again, the consequences could be... less than pleasant for everyone.

Because of the politics?

Or something else?

...You should ask Dan Heng about that part. I'd rather not get into it, and I'm quite tired already.

[ so something else, then. she nods slowly, then reaches out to snag her fingers in his sleeve. asking for his hand again seems like it would be too much. ]

...If I can help, please let me. Even if you don't believe in miracles, I can believe enough for everyone.

It isn't something anyone can help with.

[He doesn't pull his arm away, but he does tense just a tiny bit.]

But... it's also something that hasn't yet come to pass. I'm alright for now, Miss Ritsuka.

[ she holds on for a beat longer, then lets go. she isn't going to push that, even if her instinctive impulse is to reach out for connection. ]

...The thing is, though...

The thing is, this is a dream, right? For right now, we all have access to stuff that's beyond the scope of what we have in our own worlds.

So. Whatever it is... I don't think it's impossible to fix. Not here, at least.

Talk to Dan Heng about it, Miss Ritsuka.

[There's a warning tone, there. He's opened up as far as he's going to at the moment, and he's putting up walls now.]

I'm not asking you to tell me. I'm just saying that.

[ but she is backing up gracefully, her hands lifting in a surrender gesture. ]

Sorry again. For your face, and for the rest of it.

You were forgiven before you came here.

I still wanted to take responsibility.

It's appreciated. Now, if you don't mind... I think I'd like to go back to sleep.

[This conversation was more emotional than he anticipated and he is TIRED.]

Yeah.

Good night.

[ she will allow him to sleep for now, but unfortunately, she will be back,,, ]

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