[Jing Yuan lets Dan Feng push him away, but the look on his face is absolutely stricken. There's a blaring alarm in the back of his mind, but Dan Feng's behaviour is clearly something more dire than a miscommunication.]
I am not a hallucination! Please, just tell me what happened...
[He takes a step back. He wants to close the distance between them and say something to annoy that look off Jing Yuan's face but he doesn't - he can't do it. He's not made for it.]
No. If you say yes I'll fall apart. [Dan Feng shakes his head, and he starts looking around, wildly.] Where's my Yuan'er? I'll go back to him.
[Oh. Okay. Dan Feng looks at him, searching for something- before going down to his knees. He then places his hands in front of him, and kowtows, with perfect posture and grace.]
I will stay for what punishment you deem fit.
[Because even if Jing Yuan did this entire farce for some sort of strategy to keep him in line, Dan Feng still loved him. He's not actually sure if he could ever stop loving him.]
[He lifts his head, and sits up, curling in on himself, but he doesn't meet Jing Yuan's eyes. The jab makes him breathe out a laugh. See this is why he's hallucinating okay.]
Don't worry, General, Kaine set me straight. You can stop now.
[The headpats continue! Jing Yuan really needs the contact right now, and Dan Feng leaning into it is reassuring.]
I gave it to you when I offered to run from our realities with you. I told you then it was a token of my promise to marry you, and I have no intention of breaking that promise. I will stay by your side, even if you can't believe me.
He said- why would you ever take something like me? And he's your--
[His thoughts are too fractures to finish.]
Are you just saying this so I wouldn't be angry? So I would not throw a tantrum? Don't be cruel to me, General. I know I am a plaguemark, but you know I love you. I love you more than anything.
Kaine was mistaken. I didn't explain our relationship to him, and for that I am sorry. But you shouldn't believe in anything he said to you. All you need to believe in is that I love you, I need you, and I want to make you happy. I will steal you away from Yaoshi, and you will belong only to those who love you.
You are saying all the right things. [He reaches up, to curl his hands into Jing Yuan's sleeves, clawing into them, trying to pull him down.] I was the happiest I've ever been, when you asked me to marry you. I would not survive it if it was a lie. I would break into pieces. Was he the one lying to me? Was he?
[He comes down to Dan Feng's level when tugged, more than willing to get into his dragon's space. He wants a hug so bad, but he's letting Dan Feng set the pace for now, so as to avoid spooking him.]
No one is lying on purpose, but he was wrong. He hasn't seen the sides of you I love the most, after all. The way you blush when I tease you, your cute face when you get offended by little things like modern tea, how you just about expire when I call you gege... Or how noble you are, when you find a way to defy what the Abundance made you and give your all to help people.
[This is what gets Dan Feng to throw his arms around Jing Yuan's waist, wanting to bury his face in the other man's hair, unheeding of the way they're sat, sprawled, on the bare ground.]
You can see me. [Because Dan Feng is trying, fighting against the tide, trying to be more than the thing Yaoshi had remade him into, but all he knows now is how to drown.] Jing Yuan. All this time?
[Well. After a few days of being scared and distraught, anyway. Now is not the time for unnecessary details, though, so he sets that thought aside in favour of holding Dan Feng tightly. Now that he has the opportunity, he's clinging like a stressed-out barnacle.]
[Jing Yuan is more than happy to take that position -- he squishes his face against Dan Feng's skin and breathes him in, as the end of his tail curls with contentment.]
I know. I'll love you always too, no matter what happens.
[More than a little, actually, but it would feel pathetic to admit to being terrified of being left behind the way he was. The fact that it's Dan Feng he thought was leaving, even if he isn't the one who originally hurt Jing Yuan so badly, rips that old wound open entirely.
His ear flicks when the kiss lands, and his fingers tighten in the back of Dan Feng's shirt.]
I wish to soothe your hurt, nevertheless. Come inside for a bit? I'm cold.
[He's actually not quite sure how to deal with the upwelling of feeling in his chest, that there was a chance of Jing Yuan being a little insane about Dan Feng just like the way he was about him. That the way Dan Feng clung so tightly - Jing Yuan was doing the same.]
[He's reluctant to let go (just in case Dan Feng does something terrible like spontaneously evaporating), but he peels himself off his darling dragon nonetheless. He stands slowly, then holds a hand out to help Dan Feng up.]
[He stares at Jing Yuan's hand. Blinks rapidly at it, then up at him, batting at his fingers, openly surprised when their fingers catch.]
I think. [He takes Jing Yuan's hand, leaning against him as he gets to his feet.] I need. I need you to be my touchstone. Kafka was mine, but the one here does not know who I am.
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Re: DAY 27
No - no. This is still a hallucination. Stay away from me.
Re: DAY 27
I am not a hallucination! Please, just tell me what happened...
Re: DAY 27
[He takes a step back. He wants to close the distance between them and say something to annoy that look off Jing Yuan's face but he doesn't - he can't do it. He's not made for it.]
No. If you say yes I'll fall apart. [Dan Feng shakes his head, and he starts looking around, wildly.] Where's my Yuan'er? I'll go back to him.
Re: DAY 27
[He pauses, trying to stay steady despite the increasing mental white noise. He can't stop himself from tearing up, though.]
I don't care who said what to you. Don't leave me.
Re: DAY 27
I will stay for what punishment you deem fit.
[Because even if Jing Yuan did this entire farce for some sort of strategy to keep him in line, Dan Feng still loved him. He's not actually sure if he could ever stop loving him.]
Re: DAY 27
I have nothing to punish you for.
[He crouches down in front of Dan Feng, but doesn't dare hug him again, even if that's the #1 thing he actually wants to do.]
I love you, you foolish old lizard. If someone has convinced you otherwise I will feed them to the sharks.
Re: DAY 27
Don't worry, General, Kaine set me straight. You can stop now.
Re: DAY 27
[AEONS WHY IS IT KAINE. He should've said something... But he didn't, so now he gets to gently scold Dan Feng.]
Why are you believing his words over mine? Am I that unreliable to you?
Re: DAY 27
Re: DAY 27
[Tentatively, he reaches over to attempt a headpat.]
Honestly, I could not bear being left behind again, so... please trust me.
Re: DAY 27
[He shies away from the headpat, like a frightened animal, but pushes his head into it when he realizes Jing Yuan isn't going to hurt him.]
But you are the one leaving me behind? When you said. I can come with you...
Re: DAY 27
I gave it to you when I offered to run from our realities with you. I told you then it was a token of my promise to marry you, and I have no intention of breaking that promise. I will stay by your side, even if you can't believe me.
Re: DAY 27
[His thoughts are too fractures to finish.]
Are you just saying this so I wouldn't be angry? So I would not throw a tantrum? Don't be cruel to me, General. I know I am a plaguemark, but you know I love you. I love you more than anything.
Re: DAY 27
Re: DAY 27
Re: DAY 27
No one is lying on purpose, but he was wrong. He hasn't seen the sides of you I love the most, after all. The way you blush when I tease you, your cute face when you get offended by little things like modern tea, how you just about expire when I call you gege... Or how noble you are, when you find a way to defy what the Abundance made you and give your all to help people.
Re: DAY 27
You can see me. [Because Dan Feng is trying, fighting against the tide, trying to be more than the thing Yaoshi had remade him into, but all he knows now is how to drown.] Jing Yuan. All this time?
Re: DAY 27
[Well. After a few days of being scared and distraught, anyway. Now is not the time for unnecessary details, though, so he sets that thought aside in favour of holding Dan Feng tightly. Now that he has the opportunity, he's clinging like a stressed-out barnacle.]
I see you, and I love you.
Re: DAY 27
[He tucks Jing Yuan's face into the crook of his neck; his favorite and most familiar way to hold his beloved.]
Re: DAY 27
I know. I'll love you always too, no matter what happens.
Re: DAY 27
[Stroking his hair, now, pressing a kiss to that wild mane, at the base of a leonine ear. There's a pause, and quietly:]
I'm sorry.
Re: DAY 27
[More than a little, actually, but it would feel pathetic to admit to being terrified of being left behind the way he was. The fact that it's Dan Feng he thought was leaving, even if he isn't the one who originally hurt Jing Yuan so badly, rips that old wound open entirely.
His ear flicks when the kiss lands, and his fingers tighten in the back of Dan Feng's shirt.]
...but it wasn't your fault.
Re: DAY 27
[He's actually not quite sure how to deal with the upwelling of feeling in his chest, that there was a chance of Jing Yuan being a little insane about Dan Feng just like the way he was about him. That the way Dan Feng clung so tightly - Jing Yuan was doing the same.]
Re: DAY 27
[He's reluctant to let go (just in case Dan Feng does something terrible like spontaneously evaporating), but he peels himself off his darling dragon nonetheless. He stands slowly, then holds a hand out to help Dan Feng up.]
Just let me stay close to you for now.
Re: DAY 27
I think. [He takes Jing Yuan's hand, leaning against him as he gets to his feet.] I need. I need you to be my touchstone. Kafka was mine, but the one here does not know who I am.
Re: DAY 27
Re: DAY 27
Re: DAY 27