lionsleeps | IC Inbox: MWM

Then we are both fools.

[And Jing Yuan doesn't really know how to describe how he feels about it. It's all so complicated.]

...I just cannot understand him. He talks of all the ways he's tormented his version of me, and then he turns around and says things kinder than my Dan Feng ever would have. Then, when it hurt too much for me to address, he offered to hold my hand. Said that his "me" does that for him, after killing him. It's all so...

How can it be that the words and gestures I longed for all these centuries can only be offered to me by a monster? And how am I to resist becoming more and more entangled with him like this?

...

I am not Dan Feng. So I cannot give you what you wanted and needed from the Dan Feng you knew. He is the only one who can offer them.

As I said, you won't find condemnation with me. I was great at fighting and fleeing from Blade, right up until I found out who he used to be.

Mm. But... In the end, even if I gave into him entirely, he would not be my Dan Feng. That man--

[aaand there's the break in his voice that was very clearly on its way]

That man is drowned in the ancient sea. He can never hear anything I wanted to say, or say anything I wanted to hear.

[holds him tighter. silent. there's nothing the man with his face, the man who rose from that drowning, can say to alleviate that pain.]

[Dan Heng's horns are in the way, so he can't fully bury his face in his hair from this angle. It's very sad, but he settles for just huddling in that embrace and trying to rein himself in.]

...I'm sorry. You don't deserve to hear me go on about him.

No, it's... I only wish I could help, somehow.

[a soft, apologetic little kiss to tender skin again.]

And I wish I could let it go already.

[After all, he accepted that Dan Feng won't return. It feels unfair that this should hurt so badly, when he already gave up.]

Instead... I fear that madman is going to be the end of me.

[...reaching for his uninjured hand, again, to take it.]

Don't leave me so soon.

[this is Dan Heng's hand now]

I'm trying, as I always do. I just... He makes me want to scream until I've lost my voice entirely.

...Is there any way I can help?

[He considers for a moment, taking slow breaths. Then, quietly, in a voice choked with tears he's trying to hold back:]

Make me forget him for awhile?

[a tiny nod, more felt than seen, then leans back enough to loom over him.]

Gladly.

Thank you.

[He looks up at Dan Heng with red-rimmed eyes and a vulnerable, heartsore little smile, brushing his knuckles gently over his cheekbone. Then he leans up after him and goes in for a desperate kiss.]

[dan heng looks back at him, with his shorter hair but eyes and horns still luminescent, tail still wrapped snugly up in jing yuan's legs. undeniably the inheritor of so much of the man jing yuan had loved, but also undeniably himself.

and he gives him what he wants, kissing him sweetly in defiance of that desperation for one moment, two, then meeting him where he's at with a little growl deep in his throat. there's a wellspring of his own unsettled emotion to funnel into this. he can lean on his own selfish desire to make jing yuan look at only him, especially when that's what jing yuan is asking for.]

[Normally the sweetness would be returned, but right now Jing Yuan is upset. He needs that bit of possessiveness to remind him he belongs right here, where he is, and not trapped in his own past or the allure of a nostalgic delusion.

That little growl makes him shiver, and when he throws his arm around Dan Heng's neck he pulls him in close and tight and warm.]

[he lets his weight fully rest on jing yuan, sturdy and real and present in this moment, focused entirely on the man below him. he's here and wanted.

his hands stroke covetously down jing yuan's sides, lingering, as if memorizing the shape of him, as he kisses him deep and demanding.]

[The weight is a comfort, and Jing Yuan quietly sighs against Dan Heng's mouth with relieved contentment. A kiss and a touch like that has him pressing up against him, and he has to take a second to move his bad arm out of the way to increase the pressure -- once he does, he curls those fingers into the sheet as an anchor, and hitches one leg up to nudge Dan Heng's thigh with his own.]

[dan heng lifts his weight momentarily, letting jing yuan get his injured arm out of the way-- a little chagrined. he should have thought of that himself.

but he recovers quickly, pressing bodily down against the larger man and taking the invitation to slide his thigh along jing yuan's, nudging it up between those strong legs to offer some more direct pressure. he can do distracting!]

[The arm is very inconvenient and Jing Yuan would like it to heal already THANK YOU.

He can't make that happen though so he's just keeping it over there and focusing on that distraction. He whines against Dan Heng's mouth before breaking the kiss to nuzzle and nip at his jaw, rocking his hips against Dan Heng's thigh.]

[dan heng growls again, soft and needy, and starts biting his way down jing yuan's throat. refreshing his marks. a hand slips down, too, to pop the button on jing yuan's pants.]

[The old marks are a little tender, so refreshing them hurts a bit -- not that he's complaining. He gasps at the first one, but then he simply tips his head back and to the side to leave room for Dan Heng to find them all.

His good hand, meanwhile, is doing its best to unbuckle all of Dan Heng's stupid belts. Which is a little tough to do with one hand, but he's undone his own stupid harness one-handedly so he can handle this.]

[wiggling his hand into jing yuan's pants, still mostly done-up, to take him in hand and start stroking. juuuust a little too much too fast, with that possessive edge, as he all but chews on him.]

[The rapid escalation makes Jing Yuan jump, hand clenching into a fist in whatever part of Dan Heng's clothes are closest. He doesn't push him away, though. He just whimpers, shuddering, half-hard cock twitching in Dan Heng's hand.]

You-- bully.

[That's what he wants, though. The soft, lewd whiny noises in the back of his throat make that pretty clear, despite the uncomfortable squirming.]

You like it.

[voice just slightly strained. he reaches down with his other hand to unzip jing yuan's pants further, pull his cock free and squeeze it just a little tighter.]

How mean should I be?

Ah--

[It takes a moment to process the question, when Dan Heng's touching him in this slightly uncomfortable way that makes his toes curl and his breath stutter. He shakes his head just a bit, to clear it rather than as a rejection of that attention.]

Like that. Rough... but not too painful.

[He bites his lip for a moment, then wiggles his fingers into Dan Heng's shirt til he can feel skin. Meanwhile he pairs lewdness with his usual refined politeness because why not.]

Pardon my crudeness, but I need you to fuck my brains out. If you don't mind.

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this is a nsfw thread oops

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